Undead Unluck Tweet Tidbits - Chapters 1-132

David Evelyn @shinhoroko

A little thing I made explaining the thought process I have going into ルビ (rubi letters/furigana) that change the meaning of the base sentence. This is by no means a hard rule (as is most TL) but this is just one way of going about it! pic.twitter.com/BRUGJ8MMZn

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Less of an informative corner and more of a simple anecdote from when I was first working on Undead Unluck. Anyone who has TL'd dialogue can relate, but the more nebulous words end up being harder because there are SO many choices. Editors really help mitigate the struggle! 👍👍 pic.twitter.com/2kHcJsVH9U

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Been a while since I did one of these, but I finally found the time to make another. This time, I discuss the thought process behind"Negators" and "UMAs." I spent an inordinate amount of time in ch1 alone sifting through options, but I feel it works in the end! #Undead_Unluck pic.twitter.com/XSMHIxCxoF

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

When I translate manga, I make sure to be kind to the letterers since their job is to fill in the sometimes narrow real estate of the page with text, so here's a quick and dirty breakdown of how it looks. The translator, editor and the letterer can really tie the room together. pic.twitter.com/RyNmevSlJS

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

My favorite panel in Undead Unluck after 120+ chapters is still this one, where I worked around 女 (woman) also having the rubi 死 (death) by very subtly referencing Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney and the Beatles. pic.twitter.com/oE180OQpfE

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Supplemental thing I made outlining some of the confusion around Victor's name. I hope this helps clears some things up! #UndeadUnluck #アンデラ pic.twitter.com/V1aAQBAIYS

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Flashback to Ch 7, one of two examples of using furigana in dialogue (the other being the end of Ch 2.) Undead Unluck does this so much that it's become second nature, but I feel keeping elements of it in the TL helps so much in the long run. (1/3) pic.twitter.com/HM5rQxURyh

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

変えて抱いて俺が変わる (kaete daite ore ga kawaru) is simple enough: "I'll change [her], do the deed [see: sex], and I'll change." But the furi ホレさせて抱いて俺が死ぬ (horesasete daite ore ga shinu) is "I'll woo her, do the deed, and die." Similar, but gives more context. (2/3) pic.twitter.com/iGMclChhxA

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Since "change" is a major word in the Gina arc, I wanted to make sure the dialogue retained "change." "Change her heart" = "change + make her fall in love", "Change mortality" = "change + death." Then, I write around Andy's personality to make it sound believable and voila. (3/3) pic.twitter.com/Kdu8dSqfmJ

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

When translating this week's chapter of Undead Unluck, I noticed that NYC was awfully close to Longing judging from the perspective, but this is actually the New York-New York hotel in Vegas! Either Tozuka-sensei did his research or he stayed here in the past, lol. #UndeadUnluck pic.twitter.com/bnfkbhN7GQ

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

This page was all in yen in Japanese, so I suggested it just be in simple approx USD (since the prices are for the sake of the reader's convenience and not the characters.) Regardless, I included the simple approx, yen, and the more accurate USD lol. #UndeadUnluck #アンデラ pic.twitter.com/GHl6tZnESD

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

@The_Big_UwU Yeah, since Undead is one of those manga that accounts for the marketing text in its compositions, some title pages will look a little weird like ch 30, for example, when it won the Tsugi ni Kuru Manga Awards. pic.twitter.com/XtWkgOmgMG

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

I never really explained the way I phrased Fuuko's unluck before, but essentially I use "stroke of unluck" wherever "unluck" by itself would look awkward, since "unluck" is a rather uncommon English word. (1/3) #UndeadUnluck #アンデラ pic.twitter.com/gIiZY920og

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

And in places where using "unluck" twice in a row would look weird, I'm given allowance to use a synonym. The most recently example of this is Chapter 43 where Victor calls Fuuko "Unluck" and uses 不運 (unluck,) but this happens more often than you might realize. (2/3) pic.twitter.com/CASBfFhO3l

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 44. You might've noticed the bigger than usual chap number. This was to emulate the JP ver. Four (四) is usually "yon" but also "shi" (し) in Japanese which is a homonym for "death" (死) So, Death vs. Death. One could argue the 0 is "un" as well. #undeadunluck pic.twitter.com/QqDaM4YGDv

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Fuuko's "catchphrase" is 来るよ私の不運が (it's coming, my unluck.) I essentially modify that each time to fit the dialogue better so it has a more natural rhythm. Sometimes whole lines have to be worked around to better accommodate it. (3/3) pic.twitter.com/ug63sFp5oG

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 45 The Unluck Bullets are each numbered (first, second, etc) to the corresponding digit. I wanted to get across the same info in English, so I tried "first finger" "second finger" but that looked dumb. I eventually settled on the current format. #UndeadUnluck pic.twitter.com/6Mt5M6MYa5

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 46 Starting with the title, 現在 has いま as the furi, so using "present" or "now" are both fine choices, but I wanted to capture the "physical world" aspect as well, which "here and now" does a tad better. It's also snappier in Andy's line later (1/2) pic.twitter.com/ptTjwAmPWM

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Victor calls Fuuko 狸顔 (tanukigao) which likens someones face to a tanuki/raccoon dog (round eyes and face, huge pupils, etc) There's also キツネ顔 (kitsunegao/fox face) which refers to sharper eyes, smaller mouth etc. The insult nuance carries over in EN so in it stayed. (2/2) pic.twitter.com/b0sbMUunnn

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 46. I really wanted "soul" to be in the last bubble like in the original, so I toiled to rewrite the sentences so that they had a natural flow leading up to it. As I wrote and read it aloud, I think it hit the right gravitas, so I hope it did for the readers too. pic.twitter.com/QwuAo2ygHl

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch. 47 You might've noticed the magazine was in English. For Undead, the rule is that there are minimal redraws bc of the whole language unification aspect, but this week's flashback had a few spots where it was unavoidable. Hopefully it didn't break immersion 🙇‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/GL4sADDNcG

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

In addition, the magazine's name is Bessatsu Marmaret. A play on Bessatsu Margret (別冊マーガレット) which is Shueisha's shojo manga imprint currently running since 1964. pic.twitter.com/VDUa5nnEB7

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 50: Andy uses a new attack called "Deep-Crimson Crescent Moon." In Japanese, the attack is called 紅蓮三日月 (Guren Mikazuki) which is different from 紅三日月 (Aka Mikazuki.) Problem is, 紅蓮 is also used by 紅蓮弾 (クリムゾンバレット/Crimson Bullet) 1/2 pic.twitter.com/JD0N8PGa3u

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Compare this to Undead Unluck Ch 50, where I took a different approach. In Japanese, "mama" is in the 1st panel and the rest of the sentence is in the 4th. Anno's mom is ALSO in the 4th, so it in my mind, moving "mom" here was fine. In fact, it probably added to the scene. 3/5 pic.twitter.com/KZGFspqXmH

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 54: The furi for 席 (seki - seat/position) was ちから (力/power) so I opted to just use the furi reading. There are enough context clues before this between Billy/Tella's dialogue to forego finagling it in here. Makes for a cleaner and snappier line. pic.twitter.com/gAx7eQZNhy

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 55, one thing I wanted to transfer over in this chapter is the difference in Spoil's speech. It's very much implied that he's been putting up a front for his more thuggish tendencies. His 1st per pronoun even goes from 我 ware (grandiose) to オレ ore (masculine.) twitter.com/amaperi8042/st… pic.twitter.com/QnXZsXB6qe

🍭あまぺり💊 @amaperi8042

#wj15 #アンデラ スポイル戦闘回見てると一人称が変わってる そして「オレ」って言おうとして我って言い直してたり、フツーにしゃべってる時の一人称が「俺」なので素の性格は乱暴者で、風子達と戦ってた時ずっとキャラ作りしてたと考えるとめっちゃかわいいなコイツ pic.twitter.com/zvIB1ltzXn

2021-03-15 00:56:58

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck 58: There is a lot of Chinese in this chapter. Most of it made up (like the flyer Shen has for 武龍伝) but the jiangshi-summoning Artifact used by Feng this chapter is 死亡遊戯 which is the title of the Bruce Lee movie of the same name, hence the TL reflects that. pic.twitter.com/7apAosO1kf

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

This reminded me that this happened in Undead Unluck where Anno Un uses オレ (ore) but then switches over to ボク (boku,) using the pronoun of his main persona. I phrased it in a way that puts more emphasis on his dialogue rather what he's addressing himself with as a stopgap. twitter.com/DistantValhall… pic.twitter.com/72RXsZJcgH

Andrew 'Steiner' Hodgson @DistantValhalla

Let's say there's a character that uses 僕 but then, go through some sht and they decide to use 儂 (quite different… — It's a bit hard to replicate, but if it was really important to the plot I'd try to maybe rework their character … curiouscat.qa/DistantValhall…

2021-04-06 01:53:19

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Unluck Ch 59: This is a fairly innocuous tidbit, but I saw that they used the word 震脚 (shinkyaku) ( with ふみこみ (step-in) as the furi, so I opted for the Chinese reading. In Bajiquan, this "stomping step" was developed as a grounded/steady way in on an opponent. pic.twitter.com/jECApqT7ze

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 62: Feng's attacks follow a JP + translation pattern. I wanted to preserve the naming for his moves because they're all Hakkyokuken/Bajiquan techniques. First, I'll talk about Feng's 絶招歩砲, or as it's rendered in English, Zessho Hohou—Lashing Step Cannon (1/4) pic.twitter.com/OrgXFZg3y0

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Normally 絶招歩法 (the 法/way here is replaced with 砲/cannon.) It's a thrusting lunge punch irl, but most notably used by Street Fighter character, Yun. As an added bonus, the TL is partially based off of Tekken char Julia Chang's "Lashing Arrow." (In JP 箭疾歩/zenshippo.) (2/4) pic.twitter.com/fQ8LkbUnA7

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

孤撲 (Koboku) is a double handed palm strike. Here you can see Hakkyokuken/Bajiquan practitioner Akira Yuki from Virtua Fighter using it. His signature attack is the 鉄山靠 (tetsuzako) as well, which the Hakkai Zanko is based off of. (3/4) pic.twitter.com/mmA9Q0KkLm

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

These chapters are highlighting Tozuka-sensei's love for martial arts and fighting games, so I thought that carrying over the homages in the translation is important as well. I feel blessed that I found my way into translating this manga sometimes lol. (4/4)

David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Almost forgot to mention but in Undead 61, Andy mentions 死に覚え which is a gaming term that means "die (repeatedly) till you remember/learn it." (Games like the Souls series, Ghosts n' Goblins, I Wanna be The Guy etc.) Unfortunately, that's too long for a bubble, lol. pic.twitter.com/N4E1sx9JDE

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 62: The Zuishin Tekkan 随心鉄桿 (known as 随心鉄桿兵 zuishintekkanhei) is the weapon held by the six eared macaque (六耳猴) who impersonates Son Goku/Wukong. He's meant to represent the "dark side" of Wukong if he went down the wrong path. (1/2) pic.twitter.com/EKT2arVNBf

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

As for the mode, the rod takes, its called 龍炎武 (ryuenbu) which is one kanji off from 龍炎舞 (ryuenbu,) a special attack of Mai Shiranui of Fatal Fury/King of Fighters fame. It felt pretty intentional, so I made note to leave it in as-is. (2/2) pic.twitter.com/3EeEr56IcU

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead Ch 63: Sometimes I have to retool a sentence to fit in the title drop into the right(ish) bubble. I constructed a sentence around the title in order to get it in the last panel. It may have ultimately flipped bubbles (2nd instead of 1st,) but I think it works well. pic.twitter.com/bKHZRNbB07

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 65: The title is obviously a reference to a line in the chapter as is tradition, but it also seems to be thanking everyone for voting in the popularity poll as well. pic.twitter.com/GpVuNGrkHh

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 70: Spring plays chohan, the Japanese cup (bamboo cup usually) and dice game. You bet on whether the result is even or odd. It's an old form of bakuto (gambling) and probably the most simple. (It's more attached to yakuza nowadays.) pic.twitter.com/dIAKYqW5F5

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Spring's fans say 春一番 (haruichiban/spring is the best/nothing beats spring) and 一陽来復 (ichiyouraifuku/the coming of spring/good fortune.) 一陽来復 means something to the akin of "from the shadows comes new light," a euphemism for good luck being on the horizon. pic.twitter.com/uuC6qbMLvd

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 70: This completely slipped past me, but Spring has a very distinct speech pattern in Japanese that mimics a Japanese tanka poem (big brother to a haiku,) 5 syllables, 7, 5, 7, and 7. Scenes that feature him have been corrected accordingly in EN. viz.com/shonenjump/und… pic.twitter.com/jB0KpHMG4V

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 72: Kururu's line: Ai wa magokoro. Koi was shitagokoro. Literally, “with (ai) love, the heart is right in the middle [i.e. sincere] but with mere romance/flings (koi,) the heart is underneath [i.e. ulterior motives.]” (1/2) pic.twitter.com/A4hafZmEts

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

This is based on the kanji for ai (愛) having 心 (kokoro) in the middle (真心=sincerity) and 恋 has 心 on the bottom (下心=ulterior motives), so it's twofold wordplay. In English, I opted for a bit of a rhyme. "Veneer" helped with the "under" connotations. (2/2) pic.twitter.com/t6HP6K24Vc

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 72: A little one panel joke that hinged on the furigana: 不運は殺されない (fuun wa korosarenai/Unluck [i.e. "I"] won't be killed [here]) with furi 不死 (不運は不死/fuun wa fushi. Elaborating with a compromise of both readings is essential to get the point across. pic.twitter.com/UDkimumEiF

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 73: 春(ここ)で奴らとケリをつける/haru (koko) de yatsura to keri o tsukeru. "We'll settle the scores with them here (in spring.) Fell into my lap, really, lol. pic.twitter.com/e3lTQzlJpK

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 75: Spring shows back up, spitting bars. 四半刻(shihankoku)⑤呑んで待とうぞ(nondematouzo)⑦春時雨(harushigure)⑤ This time, I was able to make the English 575 the first time around. (1/3) pic.twitter.com/fw6QhkI1Px

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Undead 80: Some context behind this tweet from a week ago. This chapter had two parts that weren't very easy to translate because they all involved character perspective. Longish thread, so I recommend reading the chapter first! (1/7) twitter.com/shinhoroko/sta… pic.twitter.com/4V6vsn79J1

David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Spend less than 2 minutes on a gigantic wall of Asian characters that have all sorts of run-on conjoined mutant verb phrase past-present perfect backwards forwards bullshit going on it: 😏 Reach the words よろしくお願いします: pic.twitter.com/kcUdKBFoTq

2021-09-19 13:39:00

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

JP: 風 "アンディはどう思った？" ア "死ぬかと思った" EN (lit): F "Andy, what were you thinking (all this time apart)?" A "I thought '(maybe) death (would come)?'" Andy's answer could be taken as "I thought I would die (from missing you)" or "I thought you'd die." (2/7) pic.twitter.com/frjoZnoXt8

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

Obviously, this gets misconstrued by Fuuko and she thinks that Andy was undermining her skills, leading to Andy uttering what had been on my mind the entire time. (3/7) pic.twitter.com/bldWFNuPVe

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David Evelyn @shinhoroko

The second part came from the title. 寂しいな (sabishii na) which is deceptively tricky. This word is a combo of "sad" "lonely" "missing"—a ton of definitions, but no one-size-fits-all. It's all based on what the context is. (4/7) pic.twitter.com/iK4QeUpnux

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